


Phantom Pain

by rocketxsurgeon



Category: ER (TV 1994)
Genre: Gen, SO DOES ROMANO LOL, TW: amputation, i hate helicopters, worst storyline ever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:53:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24399070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rocketxsurgeon/pseuds/rocketxsurgeon
Summary: (Another fic I wrote in highschool)Late at night is when the most painful memories come to haunt him.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	Phantom Pain

**Author's Note:**

> Another fic I wrote in highschool about ~15 years ago
> 
> God I'm old.

I can feel it.

I can feel my arm.

It always comes at night, this phantom pain. Never in the day, but I guess that's reasonable. At night, one is more relaxed and aware of the nerve endings that don't realize that they don't end where they should anymore. All those words from the dry text book, coming back to haunt me now.

Usually, though, it's not like this. It's one finger, or two. Tonight I can feel the whole damn thing. If helicopters had never been invented, or at least if I had never made a personal acquaintance with one, this would be just another night.

No, I'm not bitter.

It was, after all, my choice to have it off. The second time at least. Not the first.

The second time. At least this makes me different. Who else do I know that has had their arm off twice?

But it's not off. It's right there. I can FEEL it.

But I must be losing sensory function in my right hand.

I love night, thinking of the endless possibilities to the next day will bring. Who knows? Tomorrow, maybe I'll have my legs gnawed off by rabid wolves. There's always a chance. There's the chance my arm will grow back overnight and everything will go back to normal.

One can only hope.

Enough of this. I've done the whole denial thing, the anger, fear, and whatever the hell else it is that comes next. I. Have. No. Arm. Nothing's ever going to be the same again.

Doesn't mean I can't remember, though.

One year ago, I was the County's best surgeon. I was the best. I still am, even one handed.

Yes, I was an ass. So? How else do you get anywhere in life? Especially in the medical field; there's no place for hurt feelings there.

No place for hurt bodies either, as ironic as it sounds.

But for tonight, I'm not a washed up surgeon with one arm. I have two arms, I can feel it. I'm the best, and tomorrow I'll just keep getting better. There's nothing I haven't done and there's nothing I can't do. I save lives. Children's lives. I give them back their futures, so they can grow up and become lawyers and businessman or the President of the United States. What is more noble than that? If there's something that is, tell me and I'll jump on it.

I am the Rocket, I am a knight in blue scrubs.

Whatever tomorrow brings I'll grab it around the neck and bring it down so it plays by my rules.

For tonight, I am once again the Rocket.

THE Rocket.

Just for tonight.

Let's not think about tomorrow.

Just tonight.

Just until the helicopter comes.


End file.
